Character Camp Day 8: Synergize

On Day 8 of "Character Camp", our families 10 day commitment to adopt new, common values and principles, we studied "Habit 6: Synergize" from The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens.

This chapter focused on valuing differences between yourself and other people.  A key challenge from the book was the question, "Do you tolerate diversity?  Or do you celebrate diversity?"  The difference is that many people may tolerate gender, ethnic, clothing, and style differences.  But do they really value how these differences can complement other people in a relationship or a team effort?

My kids have had the advantage of growing up in urban public schools, with friends of varying ethnic and economic backgrounds, and they've seen they're parents role model similar diverse relationships.  So I think they  go beyond tolerating this type of diversity.  But I couldn't let them off the hook TOO easily when reading this chapter.  I pointed out to one child that he often has little or no interest in anyone who isn't hooked on sports, and tends to assume that they would not be people he could relate to.  I said that this is a form of "prejudging" someone, and thus a mild form of "prejudice".  To celebrate the diversity of people with different hobbies and passions, one needs to be open to the possibility that these alternate passions could add spice to a friendship.

Another way I want to awaken this higher standard of celebrating diversity is to continue to help each child understand their uniqueness.  The Covey book does this by having them go through a quick personality test and having them define many of the things that make them unique.  The thought is that the more you realize the ways in which you have unique strengths and tendencies, the more curious you naturally become about the unique profile of strengths of every other person you meet.  You start to see how they have strengths that you don't, and start to see how they can complement you.  You feel the possibility of synergy.

Independent of the Covey book, I've had everyone in the family take the "Strengths Finder" test.  We've talked about each person's strengths based on this test.  We plan to complement this self discovery process by having everyone go through other tests such as the "Enneagram".  I think that taking these tests has helped each child feel more special, develop a better understanding of how they can excel, and develop a better appreciation for the differences in the talents of the people that they meet.