Camp Character-Day 1: Personal Bank Account

Today is the first full day of "Camp Character", our attempt to establish common core principles and values as a family, an investment we're making that we hope will pay out for our family for the rest of our lives. So far, I think we're going to be able to strike the right balance during these 12 days between time spent learning these principles and time doing the other things that a family NORMALLY does on a vacation.

We started off with a review. Our approach is for Chris and I to read aloud to the boys a full chapter from The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens. The boys then fill in all the sections of their copy of the accompanying workbook to get them thinking about what the chapter means to them personally. We read 2 short introductory chapters last weekend, one on good and bad habits, and the other about paradigms, how they affect your view of self and others, and how they can be accurate or misleading. This morning I reviewed what each kid wrote for these chapters. I was pleased to see that they had done a pretty good job of identifying their own good and bad habits and the paradigms they had of themselves and of others. I gave them my perspective on their habits and paradigms and described some of my own habits and paradigms. I had these discussions with each child one at a time, in private, so that they would not feel "exposed" in front of the other child and would trust that they could write down their honest feelings and thoughts.

Chris and I then read aloud today's chapter about "Personal Bank Accounts". The author uses the image of a personal bank account to show what happens when you keep promises to your self versus when you let your self down. Every time you keep a personal commitment or do something that is in line with your true values and interests, you "make a deposit in your Personal Bank Account". Make enough of these deposits and you will grow rich in self confidence, self control, and self esteem. On the other hand, if you break a commitment to yourself, if you lie or do something else that you know is wrong, then you "make a withdrawal". Make enough withdrawals and you will empty your account, stop trusting yourself, lose confidence, and develop poor self-esteem. The kids have already filled out their workbooks. This process took about 2 hours. I haven't reviewed the workbooks yet, but Chris and I agreed we'd give them a long break each day as soon as we get to this point so that they can have fun, have friends over, go to the pool, etc.

Later, when Chris and I review what they wrote, we'll be sure to expose our own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to keeping promises to ourselves. We have to talk about when we disappoint ourselves by having a few too many drinks, or deciding not to exercise, eating the wrong foods, and so on. Also, we have to talk about the positives, such as how wonderful I feel that I'm writing this blog. I'll tell them about the many years when I was withdrawing from my personal bank account because I wanted to write a book or two and didn't know how to get started, how this failure to get moving on one of my most important promises to myself was one of my biggest disappointments in life. And I'll tell them how different it feels now that I'm writing almost daily the kinds of things that I wanted to put in a book, and I'm putting it out there for others in this blog. Even if the audience for this blog is and remains small, each blog I post goes straight into my personal bank account.