Character Camp Day 5: Relationship Bank Account

For our family, "The Relationship Bank Account", may be the single most important chapter in the book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens.

This was the chapter we read and discussed today, Day 5 of our "Character Camp" for our teenage boys. "Character Camp" is our 10 day program to revolutionize forever how we talk as a family about character, values, goals, and accomplishment.  The "Relationship Bank Account" (or "RBA") is a model for the trust you build or tear down in your relationships with others.  In this model, you can "make deposits" in the "Relationship Bank Account" you have with a friend or a family member by saying something kind, keeping promises, being helpful, or many other acts that build trust.  You can also "make withdrawals" from the "RBA" by lying, breaking promises, rolling your eyes, avoiding chores, dominating conversation, or dragging your feet when the family is in a big hurry to go somewhere.

One of my sons says he feels powerless to improve an important relationship that has often been tense in the past.  I told him that the "RBA" can give him the power to improve the relationship.  I said that he can make simple "deposits" any time, and gave him many examples of  "deposits" as simple as asking the other person how they feel.  I told him that, when he does these things, the other person is likely to reciprocate, acting kindly to my son, further building the "RBA" that they share between them.  It is likely that the "RBA" will grow quickly, old wounds will heal, and the relationship will blossom.