Volunteering: a taboo subject

Like many people, I avoid burdening my family with too much talk about my job.  I now realize that I also need to avoid talking about my volunteer work.

I'm the President of our Neighborhood Community Council.  I've been working hard to limit the TIME that I spend in this role:  

• Focus on preparing for and leading the monthly board meetings. 
• Process all the emails that come in.  
• Volunteer for some events, but don't LEAD any events.  
• Go to a few committee meetings, but try not to LEAD any committees.  
• Use a kitchen timer whenever I'm working on my emails so that I don't lose track of time.  

Overall, I feel these techniques have been working.  I've done different kinds of volunteer work for most of the last 15 years, and this year I feel I've been more effective than ever at limiting the time Im spending.  So I was surprised when my wife and kids told me they were unhappy with how much my volunteer work was pulling me away from them.

I protested, "But I thought I was budgeting my time well this year!  What about my kitchen timers?  What about . . .?"  My wife responded, "Perception is reality, and when you keep TALKING about this stuff it feels like it's often dominates our family's attention."  That's when I realized that it's not enough to limit the TIME I spend volunteering.  I also have to limit how much I TALK about it.  I have to manage my mouth as well as my time.

So now, with rare exceptions, I avoid talking about my volunteer work when I'm with my family.  If I quietly put in 2-3 hours per week, then--in theory--my volunteering should be no more of a problem for my family than if I watched 2-3 TV shows per week that nobody else was interested in.

Podcasts: An Old Fashioned Way to Meditate

iTunes introduced Podcasts in 2005.  In the digital world, that's the Stone Age.  I'd heard about Podcasts but never checked them out.  Could something so old still be relevant?

I finally started exploring Podcasts in the last couple of weeks.  After reading reviews of various iPhone apps with which to manage Podcasts, I selected "PodCruncher" (just $1.99).  You can search for any subject that interests you.  The app will return dozens of regular Podcasts on the topic, in order of popularity and relevance.  I searched for "Meditation", and then subscribed to "Meditation Oasis", "My Meditation Station", "Relaxation Meditation Podcast", and two more.  Each of these Podcasts has 20 or more guided meditations.  I've been downloading the best ones so that I can listen to them often.  I used to buy guided meditation apps one at a time, without getting a chance to preview them.  I was often disappointed.  Even the good ones got boring if I listened to them too often.  But now that I've started to use Podcasts, I feel as if I have unlimited choices, I can preview them before saving them, and they don't cost me a thing.

Headphone Heaven

When I listen to my iTunes Library, there is one App I always use because it makes any pair of headphones sound ten times better.  The app is called Audyssey.  Here is a link to their website:  amp.audyssey.com.  When you use the app, it asks you to select your brand and model number of headphones from among hundreds of options stored in its library.  Then, when you play music from your iTunes library, it automatically adjusts the output from your iPhone or iPad so that you get recording studio quality sound.  Here are some links to independent reviews of the app:  Review1, Review2, Review3, and Review4.

I noticed a huge difference with two brands of headphones I own, and my son was blown away by the difference it made when he listened to music with his "Beats" headphones from Dr. Dre (yes my son is spoiled).  In addition to working with your iTunes library, the same technology is apparently used when streaming music with Songza.  I've never listened to music on Songza, so I'm going to sign off for now, download Songza, and go listen to some tunes.

Focus at Will

As I try to make a breakthrough in how relaxed I feel throughout the day, I've learned something unexpected.  When I'm working on a complicated task, I find that concentration and relaxation are linked.

If I can concentrate on the task, if I can tune out distractions, if my mind stays with my work, if I'm feeling fully engaged, then I can also relax my body.  Perhaps not quite as much as when I'm laying in a lounge chair with a cool drink.  But, still, even if I'm rushing to get the work done, even if there is a tight deadline, I can feel calm and loose as long as I'm focused.

Contrast that with those many, many times when I'm working on something difficult and I keep losing my place.  The phone rings, or I get a text, or someone drops by my cube.  Even when the outside world doesn't intrude, my inner world often intrudes.  Instead of staying on task, I'll needlessly shift my mind toward other concerns.  Either way, whether the interruption comes from within or without, it's hard to get my mind fully back on track.  It's even worse because I have ADHD.  I like to say that when something derails my train of thought, the train doesn't just leave the track.  It rolls.

At times like this, if there is pressure to get the job done quickly and I'm not sure I'll get it done in time, how can I really relax?  If I really want to be relaxed almost all the time, I have to concentrate better, ESPECIALLY when the task is very complex or ambiguous.  Concentration and relaxation are as connected as Yin and Yang.

One thing that has been helping lately is listening to the music on the website focusatwill.com.  There is also a "Focus at Will" music streaming app on iTunes.  The website claims that it is a "neuroscience based web tool that uses phase sequenced instrumental music to increase your attention span up to 400% when working, studying, writing and reading."  The basic idea is that the music is JUST BARELY catchy enough to engage the part of your "non-focal" or background attention.  This is that part of your attention that is most easily pulled away from the task at hand.  If this part of your attention is busy with the music, the rest of your attention can stay with the task at hand.

Sounds somewhat plausible, and you can peruse their website to read about the science, but I wanted to try it for myself.  I've been using the website for a few weeks, ESPECIALLY when I'm working on something difficult and confusing.  So far, I think it's making a big difference.  This week I was working on complicated Excel models that normally get me going around and around in circles.  I felt as if I was able to stay on task, that I made better programming decisions (fewer "dead ends"), that I enjoyed working on these models more than I ever have before, and that, yes, I was much more relaxed. 

Meditation Mashup

From Wikipedia: A mashup (also mesh, mash up, mash-up, blend, bootleg[1] and bastard pop/rock) is a song or composition created by blending two or more pre-recorded songs, usually by overlaying the vocal track of one song seamlessly over the instrumental track of another.


I almost always use my iPhone and headphones when meditating, but I usually do "Mashups". There are some apps in which I like the spoken, guided meditation, but I'm tired of the background music or nature sounds. I've found that some of these apps allow you to choose "voice only". Then I can open different apps for background music or nature sounds.

Any apps for background sounds have to be able to play in the background when you switch to the app with the spoken meditation. One of my favorites is Sleepstream 2 which is a mashup on its own because you can add a layer of music to a layer of nature sounds on top of "Binaural Beats" targeted at reinforcing meditation, focus, or other moods. I also like various apps from "Ambi-Science" with great electronic ambient music coupled with Binaural Beats. My final favorite is "Relax Melodies Premium" which allows you to layer dozens of sounds on top of each other in any combination. All of these apps will continue to play when I switch to one of my favorite spoken meditations from Andrew Johnson, Meditation Oasis, or Omvana.