Volunteering: a taboo subject

Like many people, I avoid burdening my family with too much talk about my job.  I now realize that I also need to avoid talking about my volunteer work.

I'm the President of our Neighborhood Community Council.  I've been working hard to limit the TIME that I spend in this role:  

• Focus on preparing for and leading the monthly board meetings. 
• Process all the emails that come in.  
• Volunteer for some events, but don't LEAD any events.  
• Go to a few committee meetings, but try not to LEAD any committees.  
• Use a kitchen timer whenever I'm working on my emails so that I don't lose track of time.  

Overall, I feel these techniques have been working.  I've done different kinds of volunteer work for most of the last 15 years, and this year I feel I've been more effective than ever at limiting the time Im spending.  So I was surprised when my wife and kids told me they were unhappy with how much my volunteer work was pulling me away from them.

I protested, "But I thought I was budgeting my time well this year!  What about my kitchen timers?  What about . . .?"  My wife responded, "Perception is reality, and when you keep TALKING about this stuff it feels like it's often dominates our family's attention."  That's when I realized that it's not enough to limit the TIME I spend volunteering.  I also have to limit how much I TALK about it.  I have to manage my mouth as well as my time.

So now, with rare exceptions, I avoid talking about my volunteer work when I'm with my family.  If I quietly put in 2-3 hours per week, then--in theory--my volunteering should be no more of a problem for my family than if I watched 2-3 TV shows per week that nobody else was interested in.