I was on the deck tonight, reclining in one of those "zero gravity" chairs, getting in my 15 minutes of meditation. Usually, I listen to music, but tonight decided to go with the most ancient, widely practiced technique: focusing on my breath.
It's all about letting go. It's all about letting the air drain out, without control, letting the lungs fill up again when they want to fill up. Watching it all without controlling it. The opposite of all my recent time management efforts. No longer trying to get a sense of control, of being in command. This is a time, instead, to lose control, to observe, to surrender. The goal is to lie limply, to sink into the chair, to let the air come in and out without ever trying to change the pace, trusting that my body knows exactly when it needs to bring more air in and when it needs to let air out.
Sounds easy, but it's amazingly difficult to let go of the feeling that I've got to DO SOMETHING about what I'm observing. Even though it's just my breathing, something that happens all the time successfully without any effort on my part (or else I'd be dead!). Nevertheless, it's hard to just let go and passively watch those inhalations and exhalations. But it's good practice. It is a lesson in accepting things as they are.
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