The Power of Disengagement

Chris and I had to discipline one of our sons today.  We had to take away some privileges for two days.  As always with this son:  DRAMA!!!  He can't stand to be punished in any way for any thing, and will argue for hours and hours trying to get us to restore his privileges.

I must admit he often wins these arguments.  He employs a powerful combination of debating skill, endurance, and acting. He can summon at will everything from outrage to tears.  Eventually, he often wears us down.

Tonight I'm taking the advice of many parenting books and disengaging.  Decide on a consequence and then disengage.  Avoid the drama.  Refuse to play the game.  Walk away for a while.  It's hard to do.  It seems cold.  But it's better than arguing.  I'm telling him calmly that I have to disengage, that I need to make my decision and then leave.  I'm telling him that I need my space.  He keeps coming back to argue and I keep calmly telling him that I can't talk about it right now.

It's not easy to disengage, but it's helping Chris and I stick to our decision.  He needs our discipline more than he realizes, and much more than he needs hours to plead his case.