Will they grow out of it?

Probably the biggest challenge my wife and I face right now is a parenting concern.  Le'ts just say our 14 year old son is not sensitive to the needs of others, and never has been.

We've read many parenting books aimed at addressing these issues in children, have tried many techniques for years, but we feel we've made little to no progress.  Sometimes other parents tell us, "Don't worry.  He's a teenager.  He's not very mature yet.  He'll grow out of it."

He might.  But we know plenty of adults who never "grew out of it".  They've remained self centered all their lives, from nursery to nursing home.  The easy way out would be to look the other way and assume that he'll eventually "get it".  But if we do this, and he doesn't ever "get it", we will have missed our chance as parents to help him reach his full potential in life.  We choose, instead, to struggle, even though it has been totally frustrating so far.