I learned something from my wife this weekend. I tend to be too non-confrontational, especially about "little things". Chris sends out invitations for a elementary school graduation party for my youngest boy. One of his friends has dysfunctional parents. They have a huge family and would bring 1/3rd of the guests if they come. No responses to e-mails, phone messages, except one message that they've been busy and will respond soon. Well past the RSVP date, we have to buy food, and they are still stringing us along. Chris drafts an e-mail standing up for herself, telling the mom what an inconvenience this is and uninviting them. I try to get her to tone it way down rather than make a fuss.
I was wrong. Chris sent a slightly revised, but still assertive e-mail to the mom and quickly got an apology.
I hesitate to confront to avoid tension in the relationship. But there is a much greater risk of tension if I DON'T say anything. These "little things" simmer. Chris quotes Dr. Phil as saying, "You have to teach people how you expect to be treated." I'm sure I don't do this enough at home or at work, and I need to change.
I took a small step today at work today. Everyone with a last name starting with the letter "P" shares a mail slot. For years, I've had to sort through piles of mail from two people who seem to subscribe to every magazine in the world and have those magazines delivered to work along with many bills and other junk mail. I don't even know what these guys look like, and it isn't that big a deal to weed through their mail, but I wanted to act on my new commitment so I sent them e-mails asking them to clear out their stuff and stay on top of it. Within minutes one of them replied that they'd get right on it.
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