- Confronted someone in a plant site who often deviates from agreed to plans unless I'm in town to keep an eye on things. In the past, I would have let this go, thinking, "He doesn't work for me, and he has other priorities." But now, I'm more willing to say, "If you are tempted to deviate from the plan, I expect an immediate phone call so that I'm involved in the decision."
- In spite of fierce resistance and anger, raised concerns about a corporate software project that I felt was moving in the wrong direction
- Confronted someone in the company who was developing a system in parallel to the one I was developing, even though mine was the "official" sanctioned effort. After he and I talked for a few hours, we teamed up, are working jointly to develop the system. The final system will be actually be 80% his ideas and just 20% mine, but I'm thrilled because we're not doing redundant work. We're enjoying working together, and I feel proud of myself for going from conflict to partnership in just a few hours.
All of this just isn't like me. I've normally shunned conflict. I really credit the EMDR meditation that I've been writing about for the last few weeks. I've focused on getting more comfortable with confrontation and criticism. I've been recalling past criticism and listening to EMDR soundtracks from iTunes to "process" these memories. And I think it's more than a coincidence. I think this is why lately I have been willing to plunge into healthy, well-intentioned conflict whenever the situation calls for it.
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