Following Her Lead

We usually do the bulk of our chores as a family on Saturdays so that we can relax more later in the week.  I'm learning that there are lots of advantages to just letting my wife lead the process.  It can be hard to let go of the need for control, to let someone else decide what we're going to do to get through a bunch of tasks.  But there are SO many advantages:

• She's home more than I am and simply knows more about what has to get done
• She has a better memory for a long list of short tasks.  She can get us moving from job to job without hesitation and, after a couple of hours, I'm stunned at all the things we get done on the list.  I don't know how she remembers it all.  If I had to lead the process, I'd be rechecking the list every 5 minutes.
• I don't have to guess whether I'm giving her the help she most wants from me.  If "A" matters to her more than "B", she'll simply ask me to do "A" first.  I can feel her gratitude for my help grow more and more as I keep working with her and the boys on her top priorities.
• She has us take frequent, long breaks so that I switch to whatever my priorities are.  Ironically, the more I spend time following her lead, the more time I end up spending on my hobbies and interests.  It creates clearer boundaries between family chores and "me time" so that I can spend time on my own interest without feeling like I'm letting the family down.

I wish I'd realized this ages ago.  At work, I'm used to controlling my agenda.  I don't take detailed instructions from anyone.  This can feel very empowering.  But it can feel terrific to switch from being a leader to being a follower.  It can be relaxing, for a few hours each week, to not have to decide what to do and when and to instead to defer to the person with the best grasp of all the things needed in the home.