The REAL "Mother of Invention"

"Necessity is the mother of invention".  Sounds reasonable, but is it true?

Necessity leads us to respond.  But will we respond with invention?  Will we be creative?  Will our imaginations run free?  Will we be open to new ideas and approaches?  The answer depends on whether the situation stresses us out or whether we feel completely at ease.

If we respond with stress, we will NOT be creative.  We will NOT invent. But if we respond in a relaxed, positive way we will maximize our creativity.

Barbara Fredrickson, author of "Positivity", has done research for decades on the creativity associated with positive emotions versus the limited options found with negative emotions.  If we react to our problems with stress, we react to necessity by fighting, fleeing, or freezing.

• We fight:  "It's not fair!  It's not MY fault!  It's HIS fault!"  
• We flee:  "I'm out of here."
• We freeze:  "I don't know what to do."

There is no creativity in these limited, stressed out responses.  This is the teenager explaining why there is nothing he can do about a problem at school, nothing he can do about his poor diet, etc.  If, instead, we are deeply relaxed, confident, at ease, then our options are wide open.  

When we are relaxed, we drop our guard and are open to ideas.  We explore.  We learn.  We build on ideas.  The intuitive part of our brain is more active.  Stress shuts down the thinking part of our brain as the faster acting primitive brain seizes control to react more quickly to danger.  Relaxation returns control to the thinking and intuitive brain.  We are then ready to explore, discover, think, brainstorm and invent.

The real mother of invention is not necessity.  The real mother of invention is a relaxed, positive response to necessity.  So whenever you have a difficult problem to solve or a creative task to accomplish, start with a deep breath.

Meditation Podcasts

Here are some of the best meditation/relaxation related podcasts I've been listening to:

• Meditation Oasis
• 30 Day Relaxation Hypnosis with Jason Newland
• Hypnosis and Guided Meditation
• Wellness Workbook Guided Relaxation
• The Meditation Podcast
• Free Hypnosis Podcast with Michael White

The last of these is hysterically funny.  Michael White calls himself the "Hypnotist Extraordinaire" and uses the silliest imagery such as turning the difficult people in your life into panda bears.  He has Twilight Zone sound effects and, where appropriate, whistles the theme from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly".  But I think he's just trying to get the audience to relax and not take the experience too seriously.  He still wants to help people feel better at the end of the podcast.

Following Her Lead

We usually do the bulk of our chores as a family on Saturdays so that we can relax more later in the week.  I'm learning that there are lots of advantages to just letting my wife lead the process.  It can be hard to let go of the need for control, to let someone else decide what we're going to do to get through a bunch of tasks.  But there are SO many advantages:

• She's home more than I am and simply knows more about what has to get done
• She has a better memory for a long list of short tasks.  She can get us moving from job to job without hesitation and, after a couple of hours, I'm stunned at all the things we get done on the list.  I don't know how she remembers it all.  If I had to lead the process, I'd be rechecking the list every 5 minutes.
• I don't have to guess whether I'm giving her the help she most wants from me.  If "A" matters to her more than "B", she'll simply ask me to do "A" first.  I can feel her gratitude for my help grow more and more as I keep working with her and the boys on her top priorities.
• She has us take frequent, long breaks so that I switch to whatever my priorities are.  Ironically, the more I spend time following her lead, the more time I end up spending on my hobbies and interests.  It creates clearer boundaries between family chores and "me time" so that I can spend time on my own interest without feeling like I'm letting the family down.

I wish I'd realized this ages ago.  At work, I'm used to controlling my agenda.  I don't take detailed instructions from anyone.  This can feel very empowering.  But it can feel terrific to switch from being a leader to being a follower.  It can be relaxing, for a few hours each week, to not have to decide what to do and when and to instead to defer to the person with the best grasp of all the things needed in the home.