For Friends and Family

What are some of the key habits that have been helping me socially?  Habits that improve interactions with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and strangers?

According to The Power of Full Engagement, by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, we can increase our engagement in life by deliberately creating good habits in four areas of our lives:

1. Social
2. Physical
3. Spiritual
4. Mental

Here are three SOCIAL habits that have been a big part of my life lately.

(1) Phone Home  Call home from work at least once per day to see how my wife is doing.  John Gottman is the world's top researcher on marriage and divorce.  He has shown that after watching a couple argue for just a few minutes on video, he can predict with over 90% confidence whether they will divorce in 10 years.  In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he says that the simple habit of checking frequently with your spouse to see what he or she is doing is one of the seven top predictors of a successful marriage.  

(Photo by "Jack O'Lantern" photo by Gone-Walkabout)

(2) When the momma's in the kitchen . . .    Too often in the past, I've viewed my job at home as projects, yard work, and repairing things.  My only role in the kitchen was to clean up after the meal.  There's been a lot more harmony since I started to tell myself, "When the momma's in the kitchen, I'm in the kitchen".  I'm not a cook, but there is so much to do getting ready for a meal that if I'm available feeding the dogs, taking out garbage, cleaning up as cooking progresses, maybe even chopping a few vegetables, whisking, or watching the stove, it makes me realize that dinner doesn't appear by magic and Chris feels more appreciated and supported.


(3) Wander through the hallways . . .    I wrote about this new habit in more detail recently in my post, "Same itch, different scratch"  Whenever I start to lose energy at work, I take a walk around the offices on the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th floors of our office building.  I keep my eyes open for people that I want to talk to who and don't look too busy.  (I wonder how many pick up the phone when they see me coming!)  Sometimes, it's just a chance to catch up with someone I like who I've haven't seen much of lately.  Other times, there is someone who needs my help or who I need to ask for some help or advice.  These walks have helped me break my focus on my own problems and situations, have helped me connect to more people and have more fun, and I'm amazed how much work gets done during these "breaks".