It was especially important that I help my wife, Chris, with chores because I learned something about myself that I wish was not true. I want to have a "To Do" list going into the weekend, and then I assume it is "my" list to do whenever I see fit. All that matters, I think, is that I get "my" list done. The problem is that it is NOT "my" list. These are the things that WE need to do as a family. This is "our" list. The choices I make, from moment to moment, need to reflect what WE need as a family, and to reflect this when WE need it.
Case in point: my mom was coming over yesterday afternoon (Saturday) to visit our family for my birthday. What did WE need to do? WE needed to pick up the house, do laundry, and make hors doeuvres. What did I do? I worked on MY "To Do List". I made a flyer for my son that he would not need until Monday. I remember thinking that I was making a good choice because it was on the "To Do" list that Chris and I had agreed to. So it was something we were both good with, right? The problem is that I don't think of us as a team with a shared goal. If I did think of us as a team, and if I thought of the "To Do" list as a FAMILY list, I would think, moment to moment, "What does the FAMILY need right now?" Then it would have been obvious: we need to get ready for the visit.
The change I need to make in my mindset is this: it is OUR "To Do" List, not something I go off and do alone as soon as it is made.
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