So why did I treat myself to cheesecake the other day after I used the treadmill? I consumed twice as many calories in that cheesecake as I had burned off on the machine. The book The Willpower Instinct, by Kelly McGonigal, makes it clear that we often give ourselves "license to sin" after we perceive ourselves to have done good. She cites many studies in which test subjects were far more likely to lie or cheat or indulge themselves after they do something they perceive as good behavior.
Does this mean I'm doomed? If I make good choices about exercise, about diet, about helping my family or my community, will I necessarily follow these good choices with bad ones that cancel out whatever I've accomplished?
Not necessarily. McGonigal says that the key is to stop moralizing your actions. Get on the treadmill, but stop kidding yourself that you are being "good". A treadmill is not a path to sainthood.
Most of our daily decisions are neither sinful nor heroic. They are just either harmful or beneficial. We choose between a donut and a salad more often than we choose between stealing and charity. For almost every good choice you make, instead of thinking that you are "doing good", reflect on what your behavior is "good for". Think about the benefits to your health, you happiness, your loved ones, society, the environment, or whatever. This keeps your attention on your goals and values. It engages and strengthens your prefrontal cortex--the part of your brain that reasons, plans, sets goals, and tracks progress against those goals.
If, instead, you focus on the morality of your good choices, you turn all your attention toward your internal battle between good and evil. When you think of exercise as being "good", you are emphasizing that part of you would rather sit on the couch and eat cookies. When you commend yourself for having just one or two drinks in an evening, you are implying that part of you wanted to polish off a six-pack. When you pat yourself on the back for eating a salad, you are implying that part of you wanted to eat Twinkies. Your attention turns to your worst impulses and your struggles to overcome those impulses. Putting all this attention on inner conflict almost guarantees that, after the "good" in you has a small success, you will feel compelled to give the "bad" in you a chance to even the score.
Hi, Ben (Darcie here),
ReplyDeleteLoved this. Yes, people need to stop moralizing choices, especially food! Drives me crazy when people do that. I'm reminded of a conversation I had a few years ago, having lunch at a restaurant with a co-worker:
Me: (orders a large salad)
Co-worker: Is that all you can have right now?
Me: What?
Co-worker: Is that all you're allowed to eat right now? Can you only have a salad?
Me: (dumbfounded): What? No! I like salad! I often order salad!
She evidently thought that I was ordering the salad to "be good" when I found the salad, in and of itself, an appealing meal. There was nothing on the menu I wanted MORE than I wanted that salad. That made me sad. It also made me wonder what she assumed I ate most of the time. I think if a person stops moralizing food, that person will enjoy the salad more for what it is, rather than as a penalty with the assumption they'd rather be eating cheesecake. Come to think of it, the biggest food moralizer I knew was someone who binged on chocolate daily to the point that she picked at her plate when presented with an actual meal. But that's another story.