The Best Times to Relax

When I'm at the dentist.  When I have something controversial to present to hierarchy.  When I'm presenting a new training class to 40 people and I'm not sure it will hold their interest.  When I'm in a traffic jam in an unfamiliar city and impatient drivers are making sudden, dangerous lane changes all around me.  When I'm meeting with someone who usually knows exactly how to push my buttons.  These are the best times to remember to relax.

As I've mentioned in recent posts, I'm still working hard every day at remembering to consciously relax at least 10 times per day.  As I've worked at this, I've become more aware of how often I feel at least some stress.  It's been an eye-opening experience.  I have far more "triggers" for stress than I ever realized.  It might only be mild irritation or a little bit of tension, but it certainly isn't "relaxed".  Whenever I'm mindful enough to notice that I've been triggered, and mindful enough to take a deep breath and relax, I feel good about my response.  I'm rewarded by feelings of both peace and pride.

If I look stressed, please yell at me

From April through June, I asked my friend Kevin at work to hold me accountable to getting my emails under control.  Kevin sits by the printer.  Each day, I'd print a chart of the number of emails in my inbox.  Kevin dutifully gave me a hard time if the chart didn't show daily progress in shrinking my inbox from almost 500 messages when I started this all the way down to 0. 

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I've switched to a new goal:  to consciously relax at least 10 times per day.  Last week, Kevin and I tried to figure out a way he could hold me accountable to my new goal.  But how?  I keep track of my goal one day at a time with a small digital counter I keep in my pocket.  There are no charts for me to show him.  Finally, it hit me.  "Kevin, if you ever see me looking stressed out, I want you to yell at me!"  He laughed and immediately agreed.

I think this will be a good reminder for me.  I can't go ANYWHERE at work without passing Kevin's desk.  Even when he's out of town, his empty cubicle will remind me dozens of times per day to keep my cool.