From I to We to I

It often happens to mothers.  Many days, they feel that all they've done all day is take care of the family.  They never got a chance to indulge in their own priorities.

It can happen to fathers, too.  When I get home from work and when I'm home on the weekends, I'll often feel that I need to focus on what the FAMILY needs, focus on what WE need, not what I need.  And this is probably the right thing to do.  I want to be a devoted father, not one who spends most of his free time indulging his interests and ignoring his family.  But I'm finding, lately, a need to consciously shift back and forth from a focus on WE--the family--to I--the things I'm interested in that nobody else necessarily cares about.

In most of my free time, I'll focus on WE.  What do we all agree we need to get done?  What fun do we want to have as a couple or a family?  Then, having satisfied many of the family's needs, I'll consciously shift to a mode where I'm not focused on what the rest of the family wants.  I do the chores and projects nobody else thinks matters.  I blog.  I'll go to a performance of jazz or of classical music.  I'll go on a hike.  The rest of my family isn't interested in these things, but that doesn't matter.  As long as most of my free time is devoted to family, I can feel good about the support I'm providing and still find time to indulge in the things that only matter to me.