The Enneagram: Meyers-Briggs on Steroids

Inspired by The 9 Types of Leadership, by Beatrice Chesnut

The "Enneagram" is the most comprehensive theory of personality types I know of.  I'm not a professional, but I've read a ton of psychology books over the last 40 years, and it seems deeper than Myers-Briggs and any other classification of personality types that I've ever read.  It's too bad that the "Enneagram" has such a "New Age"name and the esoteric symbol shown above.  Just because of its name and symbol, many people are likely to dismiss the Enneagram as unscientific.

There is at least some research supporting the idea that the Enneagram is a valid personality theory.  If interested in seeing this research, go to this link:  Enneagram research.

The way I "know" that the Enneagram is real, at least for me, is that as I've learned the 9 "personality types", I've come to find proof of the types in people who I know.  Most important, I've learned that I am a "6"-- the "Loyalist".  And I've found that, once I learned that this is the style that fits me best, the things that I've read about the "6" have taught me things about myself that I didn't know and that have been very helpful in relating to other personality types.  I've found that my wife, Chris, is a "1" -- the "Perfectionist".  And when I read something specific about "1's", I asked her, "Is this truly something that goes on in your head much of the time?'  She replied, "24/7".

I think the best way to learn the Enneagram and to get the most out of it is from a combination of reading, discussion, and experience.  You can't just read about the 9 types and believe that virtually everyone fits into one of these 9 types.  You have to read it and then experience it in other people.  Figure out which type fits you best and then ask yourself with an open mind whether the description of the type, both the type's strengths and the type's weaknesses, fits you.  Because the Enneagram also describes unconscious patterns of motivation, emotion, and behavior in each type, does what you read about your type tell you some things about yourself that you weren't aware of?  Finally, because a good Enneagram book such as the one by Beatrice Chesnut I referred to at the start of this post, will also tell you how other types might misunderstand your best intentions and motivations and how you might upset them with things that feel totally natural to you, does what you read help explain some of the conflicts you've had at work and in your personal life?

After you've done this, you can go on to try to identify the types of those closest to you.  Eventually, I hope to identify people from all 9 types as a way to make what I read about those types come alive.  Some people in any type will be chronically "unhealthy", demonstrating the worst motivations, thoughts, emotions, and actions of that type.  Others are very "healthy" and recognizing this can teach you that any type can enhance any group, team, family, friendship, or business that they are a part of. I'm not done yet with the journey of finding people I know well in all 9 types, but I think it will be key to find at least one very "healthy" person in each type so that I recognize that all the types are equally valuable.

It's at the Tip of My Nose

What is the secret to meditating on my breath when I'm feeling distracted?  It's at the tip of my nose.

Sometimes when I try to meditate on my breathing, my attention jumps between how breathing causes movement in my belly, movement in my chest, and other movements and sensations.  I can't seem to settle my focus anywhere.  And then I can't help but try to control my breath.  I know that, ideally, I just let the breath happen naturally while I observe it.  But I can't help trying to control it.  In particular, I can't help trying to breathe more slowly and deeply because this seems more "spiritual".  All this control and wandering attention prevents me from getting into a rewarding, deep concentration on my breath.

What can I do at a time like this?  I often find that it helps to focus on the breath coming in and out of my nose.  Make that the primary focus of my breathing meditation.  If my attention shifts to chest or belly, gently return to the nose.  I find that this makes me less judgmental about HOW I'm breathing.  If I just feel the air enter and leave the tip of my nose, I'm not overlerly concerned with whether I'm "doing it right".  I'm more inclined to breathe naturally.  I'll still feel the breath in my lungs and diaphragm but I let the feelings in my nose take center stage.  I find this so much easier that I can do it not only during focused meditation but also when doing other things like driving to work or walking the dogs.

Best Wishes for All

My favorite meditation of late is to wish for myself and others, "May you be healthy, be happy, and may you manifest your goals."

I start with myself because if you don't love yourself, then you don't love anyone.  Put on your own mask before helping others.

Then I think of family, close friends, and my dogs.  May my dogs manifest their dreams.  Dreams of going for a walk, sniffing everything other dogs have marked, dreams of playing, treats, and of human companionship.

Then I think of people at work that I expect to interact with on this day.  May they be healthy and happy.  May their deepest wishes for their family and their future come true.  Lastly, I think of people who have upset me because this promotes forgiveness which is good for me.

That ends the morning meditation, but I've developed a habit of continuing these thoughts in almost every interaction I have throughout the day.  In meetings.  In social events.  Or just walking around the office, seeing people in their cubicles, and silently wishing them well.

People can tell.  They don't hear my thoughts, but they seem to feel them.  My meetings go more smoothly than before I developed this habit.  I'm less intimidated when asking higher ups for approval or when stating an unpopular opinion.  I have had a tendency to be skeptical of authority figures I don't know well.  I'm sure they can sense that skepticism and it hasn't helped me gain their support.  But when I silently wish them and their families and friends all the best they could hope for, I find myself trusting their judgment more, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I sense that they, too, grow in their trust of me, my ideas, and my intentions.