e-mail fatigue

So THAT'S why I hate e-mail!  Decision fatigue!

Lately, I've been writing posts based on the book Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney.  I've been blown away by the author's explanation of "decision fatigue", the fact that any long, uninterrupted series of decisions--if we don't get a rest and maybe a bite to eat before we continue--is going to drain us.  Big decisions with a lot at stake are the most draining, of course, but even trivial stuff like which lane to drive in on the highway saps our energy.

So now I know why I hate e-mail.  At my job I get at least 100 e-mails per day--not including the junk mail that I know I can delete instantly.  All the others require decisions.  Do I file this for later?  Can I just delete it?  What's this guy asking for?  All too often, people want something--expect something--but they don't just come out and say it.  I have to DECIDE what they want, and now I know why this drains me.

And then there are the tiny decisions:  sort by date?  by author?  by subject?  If I sort by subject, I wonder if I'm neglecting something urgent.  If I sort by date, I wonder if I'm missing the chance to respond to and then delete 10 messages that are all part of a chain.  So I go back and forth but research has shown that even these small decisions are draining.

And then if I let my inbox get too big, and it's often well above 300, I repeat decisions on the same e-mails for weeks.  I see again that old e-mail.  I didn't know what to do with it yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that, and I don't know what to do with it today.  But now I've struggled with decisions multiple times for the same e-mail.  This is why many time management experts such as David Allen with his "Getting Things Done" system urge you to get the inbox to zero almost daily.

This is my current 30 day goal.  Started 6 days ago with my inbox at 380 at 9 am.  Started to graph the size of my inbox every morning at 9 am.  Showing the graph to a friend each day.  I told him he's holding me accountable to improving every day.  He didn't volunteer for the job.  But I told the poor guy he has the job now because he sits next to the printer.  Every day I show him the graph and I feel compelled to have progress each day.  He just laughs at me, but my inbox is already down to 220.  And I don't dare to walk past him on any day with a graph that shows anything less than progress.

Decision Fatigue

The most eye-opening thing I read in Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, is what the authors call "Decision Fatigue".   They describe a wide variety of research showing that people get tired when they make many decisions without a break, quickly losing the ability to make further decisions wisely and fairly.  In one incredible case, a variety of judges heard parole requests all day long.  On average, if they heard a case early in the morning, they granted parole 65% of the time.  But the judges were much harder on the poor prisoners who had the bad luck to appear late in the day.  The judges paroled them only 10% of the time even though their crimes and their sentences were no different than those who appeared in the morning.

Turns out that even small decisions of minor importance are draining.  A series of shopping decisions, for example, can drain you of the mental resources needed to make harder decisions later.

Walk into an automobile showroom and WATCH OUT.  They'll have you make a ton of trivial decisions about trim, the color of the dashboard, color of the carpets, options for cup holders and then WHAM!  They ask if you want the $3,000 V6 Turbocharger option, knowing that you'll just say, "Whatever!"

Makes me think about conserving my decisions.  Drive in the middle lane.  In the left lane, I have to constantly decide whether the guy behind me is coming up so fast that I'd better move over.  In the right lane, should I speed up or slow down so the Ford Pinto can merge?  In the middle, just go with the flow.  Similarly, lock in the cruise control 5 mph above the speed limit and forget it.  No peering ahead for the cop car, ready to make a decision to tap the brakes.  Maybe that's why lots of people eventually start to drive this way.  They start to see how draining these small decisions can be on a long drive.  Better to save the energy for whatever I find when I get to the destination.

Willpower Behind the Wheel

According to Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, we exercise willpower whenever we strive to control our thoughts, actions, or feelings.  And we all fatigue as we use our willpower, as if we were doing push-up after push-up.  Just as with physical exercise, we need time for rest and recover before we can do another round of willpower "push-ups".

A good example in my life lately involves teaching my 16 year old how to drive.  He wants to accumulate 50 hours of practice as fast as he can so he wants our driving sessions to last as long as possible.  But I know that driving taxes his willpower.  He has to force himself to focus.  He has to control his thoughts.  He has to remember to look in his blind spot before changing lanes, to monitor his position in the lane on the road, to figure out what other cars and pedestrians might be doing, to remember to start and stop smoothly.  I can see now when this becomes too much for him, starts to make mistakes, and then the lesson is over for the day.

Conserving Willpower

I'm reading Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney.  They share some amazing experimental results showing that willpower is analogous to physical strength.  Like strength, willpower can grow through exercise.  But, like strength, you can't apply it for hours on end without getting drained.  Even the best athlete can only run so many miles, can only do so many push-ups.

The authors describe many experiments showing that groups of people who had to resist chocolate chip cookies when the researcher's back was turned or who were told to show no emotion when watching animals suffer in a documentary or who otherwise had to restrain themselves were subsequently unable to persist at puzzles or other challenging tasks compared to control groups who could have all the cookies they desired or who could cry when watching sad films.  Their willpower was drained as thoroughly as an athlete who runs 20 miles and then is asked to run 10 more.  One of the authors, Baumeister, apparently is one of the top researchers in the field.  He coined the term "ego-depletion" to describe what happens when someone has, temporarily, used up much of their willpower.  "Ego-depletion" quickly became the primary way that most psychologists described this phenomenon.

The lesson for me is that I need to consciously conserve willpower.  I should not try to force myself for long periods to do things that don't come naturally to me or to put myself through prolonged temptation to do things that are a waste of time or worse.

It's not that I shouldn't exercise willpower.  On the contrary, the exercise of willpower strengthens it.  It's more a matter of recognizing human limitations, and not kidding myself that I can just push ahead for hours and hours on a tough task without taking a break.  Maybe I can try, but if I'm honest with myself I'll notice my fatigue, loss of concentration, and reduced capability.  Better to take breaks and to limit the time I spend on the tasks that drain me.

This is part of being aware of my changing self.  I need to be aware of when I'm exercising willpower.  I'm not exercising--and draining--willpower when I do things out of habit, when I do things that feel natural and easy.  When, instead, I'm pushing myself, that is OK but I need to feel the drain on my willpower and to take a break while I'm still feeling fresh and energized.

3 Most Important Questions

"The 3 Most Important Questions" is one of the guided meditations in the new iPhone App "Omvana".  It has made a big impression on me.  For the last few months, I've been trying to improve how well I use my imagination to picture the changes I'd like to see at home and at work.  This meditation gave me a completely different perspective on how to do this.

The author, Vishen Lakhiani, believes that there are 3 key questions to ask as you imagine your ideal future:

1. What experiences do you want to have?  Both short and long term, what places do you want to visit or live in?  Ideal living conditions?  Achievements?  Adventures?  Fun?
2. How do you want to grow?   Skills and knowledge you want to master?  What kind of person do you want to be?  What is your ideal self?
3. What do you want to contribute?  How to help your family, your community?  What kind of legacy do you want to leave.

Lakhiani believes that there are what he calls "end goals" and "means goals".  He feels it is most important that we define the "end goals" first.  Only then should we define the "means goals" that get us there.  Further, he says that there are three distinct types of end goals:  experience goals, growth goals, and contribution goals.  For me, I find it important to look at these both short term (the next week or month) and long term.

I've asked myself Lakhiani's 3 questions many times now, and that when I structure my time envisioning the future in this way, it unlocks my imagination.  More ideas flow.

I started thinking, "Who is Lakhiani?" There seems to be more depth here than the typical guided meditation on an iPhone app.  I'm a positive psychology book junkie, and I've never heard these ideas put this way.  I found that he's a former Microsoft employee who decided to form his own internet company, "Mindvalley", and that now he's a top motivational speaker.  Here's a link to his video explaining his "3 Most Important Questions" ideas.

The 3 Most Important Questions

Learning to Steer

Every week--as I continue to journal about what I'd like to see happen at work, with my family, with my health, and with my neighborhood community council work--I get a little bit clearer about where I think I'm heading.  I'm learning to steer.

It is easiest, at least right now, to imagine the very near term:  wouldn't it be great if I finished a computer model at work?  If I arranged for college visits to Chicago with my kids over spring break?  If the neighborhood community council that I'm President of signed a contract with a consultant to revitalize the business district?  If I did a better job of slowing down and relaxing deeply in the last couple of hours before bed?  I have more trouble imagining where I want to be 5 years from now than where I want to be by Friday.  But if I get used to reaching my goals each week, I'll be better able to reach for big, long term goals with confidence.

Ask This First

Too often, I've started each day with the question, "What do I need to do today?"  That's the wrong question to start with.  The first question of the day should be, "What would I like to see happen today?"  Once I've clarified what I hope will happen, it is easy to figure out what I need to do.

What difference does it make?  It is the difference between dwelling on obligation and dwelling on opportunity.  Brainstorming the things I'd like to see happen today, or this week, or this year causes me to think about what is possible, to hope, to reach for things I might otherwise have not thought about.  It's more energizing than brainstorming tasks.

I still need to brainstorm tasks because actions are how I will get where I want to go.  But too often I've just started my days filling out "To Do Lists" and, often, this can feel like I'm doing what I have to do versus what I want to do.  If I first picture how I'd like to have fun and what I'd like to accomplish (not the details but the result), the same "To Do List" feels like a path to get something I want rather than work that has been imposed on me from outside.  Same exact tasks, same work, but a different sense of control.

I've been thinking about this lately because of the journaling I've been doing related to the outcomes I'd like to see in my work and in my personal life.  This journaling has helped me see that visualizing outcomes is primary.  Visualizing the steps to get there is essential, but it ought to come second.